From Teacher’s Pet to Tiny Tornado: The After-School Meltdown Survival Guide
We’re officially one month (and a little more) into the school year—and for us, it’s the very first time doing five full days a week. What I’ve learned quickly: while my child holds it together all day at school, the second they walk through the door, the emotional floodgates open.
This after-school crash has a name: restraint collapse.
What Is Restraint Collapse?
Restraint collapse refers to the meltdowns, outbursts, big emotions, and sheer exhaustion kids experience after school. They’ve spent hours navigating routines, following expectations, and managing their feelings. For children who already struggle with emotional regulation or impulse control, the crash can feel even more intense—and, as parents, it can be overwhelming to manage.
Why Does It Happen?
Think of it this way: kids spend the entire school day “holding it together.” They’re listening, sitting still, sharing, waiting their turn, and following directions. By the time they get home—their safe place—every ounce of emotional energy has been used up. The release looks like tears, yelling, or shutting down.
Our After-School Routine
Through trial and error, we’ve built a routine that helps smooth the transition from school to home. It doesn’t prevent every meltdown (we are still in Kindergarten, after all), but it does give us structure and predictability.
Here’s what works for us:
Arrival routine – Shoes off, backpack away, wash hands.
Quick Hit of Proprioceptive input – Deep pressure squeezes with weighted blanket or body weight, body sock, foam roller rolls (take a foam roller or a rolled up towel, have child lay on couch or floor and roll their back with it), blanket burritos (roll up child like a burrito in a blanket), floor scooter board on belly around the house, animal walk game, trampoline jumps. These are a few examples.
Snack time – Always try to include protein and something crunchy. Oral input through straw, a smoothie or milk.
Quiet time – Dim lights, weighted blanket, cozy corner, and a favorite show or timed play on the tablet.
Movement break – A quick 5–10 minute slightly structured activity with low demands (like movement go fish, an obstacle course, or Simon Says, helping move something heavy: think basket of laundry, box of books to another space).
Free play / sports / homework – Once they’ve decompressed, we move on with the rest of the evening.
Giving Yourself (and Your Kids) Grace
Our Ideal Routine—But Not Every Day Is Ideal
This is our ideal routine—but that doesn’t mean it happens every day, in the exact same order, or without bumps. Yesterday, for example, we had an eye doctor appointment right after school—about 25 minutes away—and it was tough. I had to keep reminding myself that my son wasn’t giving me a hard time; he was having a hard time.
He worked so hard at school all day, then followed the doctor’s instructions and completed testing for 30 minutes straight! That’s a lot of sustained attention and focus for any child. Afterward, when the dysregulation hit, I reminded myself: change in routine, long day, extra demands—it all adds up.
I was thankful for sidewalks and quiet parking lots to squeeze in some movement, a snack pack always in the car, and an adaptable mental toolbox filled with movement and deep pressure strategies to help soothe his nervous system and bring him back to a place of “calm”. Remember: It’s not about stopping the feelings or sensitivities, but about providing what their body needs to feel peace and regulated.
Afterschool meltdowns still happen, and that’s okay. What matters is creating a predictable rhythm that gives kids the safety and space they need to reset after a long day, to lessen the dysregulation.
Because honestly, Kindergarten (and school) is hard—on them and on us! And building in small moments of calm helps everyone breathe a little easier.
